Post by Clonetrooper on Jun 24, 2005 17:03:54 GMT 8
I can't BELIEVE (with a long "E" sound)there's no Humour/Jokes section here(for a reason?)!!
Let me start one and go have a blast (excuse the pun):
Ways You Would Improve Stormtrooper Armour
by the readers of TheForce.Net
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A message from TFN
This list is not in any particular order.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Take the helmet off so they can actually see something...
by Marda Organa
more protection in the weak spots and a zipper in the back.
by The Curser (in every sense of the word)
Anti-force-choke neck protectors, forehead protectors, and MUCH more camouflage.
by The Curser(in every sense of the word)
Auto targeting system-never miss another rebel. (gee, *that*would have changed the star wars trilogy.)
by The Curser (in every sense of the word)
Make it blaster proof.
by Manda
Cover it in mirrors so all the laser shots bounce off and the Rebels can't get a good shot in the first place because of the sun(s) glare off your armor.
by NoGo
brighter colors for a more fun, happier empire!
by darth_vaderess
Have a built-in Hero Targeting System guaranteed to hit any main character at distances of five feet or less.
by Darth_Hideous
Make it Ewok-proof
by Darth_Hideous
Give the armor manufacturing contract to a Japanese firm. Then they can transform into giant robots and teach those Ewoks a thing or two.
by Darth_Hideous
make them out of adamantium, like wolverine's claws!
by darth_vaderess
Vader detector.
by Kyra
Color it black and give them capes. They'll still be losers, but they can pretend they're Darth Vader.
by Kyra
Tie-dye. Just when everybody thinks you're a peace-loving hippie, you sneak within accurate shooting range (point blank) and blast 'em.
by Long-Gon Jinn
Bulkhead proximity sensor/alarm with forehead-side airbag.
by Long-Gon Jinn
give it a fly...that way breaks wouldn't take as long....
by Jedi Wannabe
Robocop's targeting system.
by Chad Evans
Wrap them in bubble wrap.
by ThePodSquad
Replace it with jeans and T-shirts for better protection against gunfire.
by Macaroni Penguin
Put it on the heroes to even up the odds for the Empire.
by Macaroni Penguin
I'd make the armor out of ditanium or ceramisteel or whatever other silly words I can find in the Unofficial Encyclopedia.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards
Forget about that grappling hook. It only helps the good guys.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards
Throw out the plans and materials, then start over. Come on, there's no way you can fix that stuff......
by One Dead Sith
Clear lenses instead of black tinted...those stormtroopers need all the help they can get!
by Dark Lord of the Bith
Make it even whiter- the more to blind the rebel scum!!!
by Vesp
I would add a big laser cannon to each shoulder and rocket skates to the feet; from ACME of course.
by RU ARTOO?
How about using Kevlar instead of "insta-break plastic"?
by RU ARTOO?
well, how about not making it gloss white, particularly in forest environments
by Rogue_0009
alarm systems that go off when it's being stolen and used by rebel scum
by Brian
Put women in them. And replace the white plastic with black leather.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards
Make it resistant to: lightsabers, blasters, stun rays, ewok tomahawks, arrows, sticks, force chokes, force persuasion techniques, fire, water, electric shock, vulcan nerve pinches, punches, kicks, assorted wild and domestic animals...
by Tagg Uritt
Fill it with intelligent and capable marksmen.
by Mr. Whitmarsh
Allow the trooper one 'personalization item' to express their personality. Like a smiley button or "How's My Shootin'" bumper sticker.
by Mr. Whitmarsh
two words "paper mache"
by count-chocula
Trade it in for a loin-cloth; that would be more protective.
by Jelp
Take the trooper out them and a paper bag on their heads. It would be just as effective and lot cheaper
by mljedi
Obstacle Detection and Collision Avoidance System located in the head area. Adjusted for indoors.
by Boinga
"Predator"-style camouflage
by Boinga
Add a large ID number, just like Navy ships.
by Boinga
force field attachments
by Rogue_0009
A tribal decal. Yeah, that would be cool.
by SirNi
Make it out of the stuff the use for the Black Box.
by SirNi
The Armor Glows when Jedi are Near.
by Jeff "RuSh" Nelson
Paint a "do not shoot" sign on the back.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards
paint concentric red circles on front and back
by J.E.D.Y.
Two words: air conditioning.
by Master Peregrine
(From: www.theforce.net/humor/topten/ct10_stormtrooperarmour.asp)
Let me start one and go have a blast (excuse the pun):
Ways You Would Improve Stormtrooper Armour
by the readers of TheForce.Net
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A message from TFN
This list is not in any particular order.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Take the helmet off so they can actually see something...
by Marda Organa
more protection in the weak spots and a zipper in the back.
by The Curser (in every sense of the word)
Anti-force-choke neck protectors, forehead protectors, and MUCH more camouflage.
by The Curser(in every sense of the word)
Auto targeting system-never miss another rebel. (gee, *that*would have changed the star wars trilogy.)
by The Curser (in every sense of the word)
Make it blaster proof.
by Manda
Cover it in mirrors so all the laser shots bounce off and the Rebels can't get a good shot in the first place because of the sun(s) glare off your armor.
by NoGo
brighter colors for a more fun, happier empire!
by darth_vaderess
Have a built-in Hero Targeting System guaranteed to hit any main character at distances of five feet or less.
by Darth_Hideous
Make it Ewok-proof
by Darth_Hideous
Give the armor manufacturing contract to a Japanese firm. Then they can transform into giant robots and teach those Ewoks a thing or two.
by Darth_Hideous
make them out of adamantium, like wolverine's claws!
by darth_vaderess
Vader detector.
by Kyra
Color it black and give them capes. They'll still be losers, but they can pretend they're Darth Vader.
by Kyra
Tie-dye. Just when everybody thinks you're a peace-loving hippie, you sneak within accurate shooting range (point blank) and blast 'em.
by Long-Gon Jinn
Bulkhead proximity sensor/alarm with forehead-side airbag.
by Long-Gon Jinn
give it a fly...that way breaks wouldn't take as long....
by Jedi Wannabe
Robocop's targeting system.
by Chad Evans
Wrap them in bubble wrap.
by ThePodSquad
Replace it with jeans and T-shirts for better protection against gunfire.
by Macaroni Penguin
Put it on the heroes to even up the odds for the Empire.
by Macaroni Penguin
I'd make the armor out of ditanium or ceramisteel or whatever other silly words I can find in the Unofficial Encyclopedia.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards
Forget about that grappling hook. It only helps the good guys.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards
Throw out the plans and materials, then start over. Come on, there's no way you can fix that stuff......
by One Dead Sith
Clear lenses instead of black tinted...those stormtroopers need all the help they can get!
by Dark Lord of the Bith
Make it even whiter- the more to blind the rebel scum!!!
by Vesp
I would add a big laser cannon to each shoulder and rocket skates to the feet; from ACME of course.
by RU ARTOO?
How about using Kevlar instead of "insta-break plastic"?
by RU ARTOO?
well, how about not making it gloss white, particularly in forest environments
by Rogue_0009
alarm systems that go off when it's being stolen and used by rebel scum
by Brian
Put women in them. And replace the white plastic with black leather.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards
Make it resistant to: lightsabers, blasters, stun rays, ewok tomahawks, arrows, sticks, force chokes, force persuasion techniques, fire, water, electric shock, vulcan nerve pinches, punches, kicks, assorted wild and domestic animals...
by Tagg Uritt
Fill it with intelligent and capable marksmen.
by Mr. Whitmarsh
Allow the trooper one 'personalization item' to express their personality. Like a smiley button or "How's My Shootin'" bumper sticker.
by Mr. Whitmarsh
two words "paper mache"
by count-chocula
Trade it in for a loin-cloth; that would be more protective.
by Jelp
Take the trooper out them and a paper bag on their heads. It would be just as effective and lot cheaper
by mljedi
Obstacle Detection and Collision Avoidance System located in the head area. Adjusted for indoors.
by Boinga
"Predator"-style camouflage
by Boinga
Add a large ID number, just like Navy ships.
by Boinga
force field attachments
by Rogue_0009
A tribal decal. Yeah, that would be cool.
by SirNi
Make it out of the stuff the use for the Black Box.
by SirNi
The Armor Glows when Jedi are Near.
by Jeff "RuSh" Nelson
Paint a "do not shoot" sign on the back.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards
paint concentric red circles on front and back
by J.E.D.Y.
Two words: air conditioning.
by Master Peregrine
(From: www.theforce.net/humor/topten/ct10_stormtrooperarmour.asp)
